I’m not a New Year’s resolution kind of person and more of a constantly reflecting and planning kind of person. I love a good plan and get a lot of satisfaction out of crafting the perfect schedule to accomplish my goals. However, life doesn’t operate on a planned out schedule that is always on time. Like many of us, I had to swallow that dose of reality this year. I spent time yesterday and today reflecting, reading my old journal entries and praying about what I wanted out of the new year ahead. Looking back at 2020, I can say that while collectively we had a lot of disruption, turmoil and pain, it was good. I felt more grounded and settled by the end of the year than I had in a long time. My overall well-being had drastically improved. My relationships were stronger. My soul felt more at peace. I smiled more. But that didn’t happen without some serious discomfort and sacrifice along the way. In my journey over the past year I’m looking forward to crafting 2021 from the lessons I learned over the unprecedented year that was 2020.
Lessons Learned in 2020:
- I can’t do everything
At the start of 2020, there was a lot on my plate. Then COVID hit and my work load accelerated beyond my wildest dreams. Andy and I both worked harder than we ever have–nearly around the clock some weeks. I didn’t want to let go of all the exciting endeavors I started that year but some things needed to be let go of to prioritize addressing COVID. Accepting that I had limitations, learning what to prioritize and leaning on others when needed was a good lesson. Even when I let go, all the things still got done in time.
- Bread is good
Being gluten free has always limited my access to bread and many other goodies in the carbohydrate category. I jumped on the bread making train pretty quickly once we were all quarantined at home. I nurtured my own gluten free sourdough starter and by the grace of God made gluten free sourdough bread. It was amazing. After years of not being able to enjoy this carb-filled, carb-filled goodness I have made it a staple to always have homemade bread on hand. It also makes my house smell amazing. So it’s a win, win, win win.
- Creating with my hands
After some long days of working on addressing COVID I would come home feeling defeated and exhausted. I felt like none of our efforts were making progress. Our medical director asked everyone on our team to start a project that used our hands. So, I took on refinishing an old table we bought on FB Marketplace. I’ll be honest, I had no idea what I was doing when I started. But I enjoyed the process of learning, crafting with my hands and seeing the direct outcomes of my labor. With so much of our world taking place in the virtual space, it was grounding to have a physical craft to put my time into. I look forward to continuing sewing, gardening, painting and home projects in the new year.
- Prayer is always 100%
I spent more time in prayer during 2020 than I ever have before. I needed hope and perspective in the dark times we endured. Jesus was the only one who could truly quell my anxiety. Through deepening my relationship with Him, by praying for 15 minutes each morning, I was granted the grace to continue growing despite the challenges we faced this year. In understanding what a relationship with Jesus meant, I saw the deepest desires of my heart revealed. Some of the aspects of my life that were holding me back from my truest self were stripped away and I felt more me than ever before.
- Read the Bible
I quite honestly didn’t read directly from the Bible much prior to 2020. However, I needed truth, hope and inspiration to navigate some of the difficult situations that I encountered. In reading the word of God I learned so much about my faith. I loved learning more about what Christianity is based on. The impacts it had in my life were also profound.
- Accept the ebbs and flows
I would consider myself a generally disciplined person. 2020 brought new ways of shaking up any kind of plan I could ever form. It was a big reminder that I am not enslaved to a prescriptive way of being. I learned to roll with the ebbs and flows of life and accept what came my way. There is great joy in seeing what is brought our way when we let go of an idea of how things should be.
- Get out of your head
I had to fight getting sucked into the patterns of frustration and defeat this year. The greatest battle took place between my ears. How I thought shaped every day. It was crucial that I learned to stop my spinning thoughts and fall prey to toxic thinking patterns. My mom has always told me to focus on others and do something kind for someone else when I felt overwhelmed. When I stepped out of my own world and genuinely cared for someone else, I felt instantly better. I started volunteering with a women’s shelter and animal shelter this year and it was the best gift I have been given. There is power in giving back, even when it feels like we have nothing to give! Taking moments during the year to be intentionally charitable definitely helped me stay positive.
- Be kind and generous
Everyone is going through something. It is not my place to always know what that is, but I want to strive to always be kind to those whose path I cross. I keep the words of Mother Teresa close to my heart: “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of kindness; kindness in your face; kindness in your eyes; kindness in your smile.” Too many lives were lost this year. The raw realization that life can be taken away at any moment softened my heart immensely. I will carry the kindness that was extended to me, despite my shortness in times of stress, to others who are also walking this wild journey.